So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
