we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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