Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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