What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
