my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You're a waste of cheezeits
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
