I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
