Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
