I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its not stalking. its research.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
