When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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