another moral hangover. fuck.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
