So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize