After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
