You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
