Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
