Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize