He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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