k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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