I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
