I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
