So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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