matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Be still, my beating vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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