omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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