i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
