I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
