My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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