Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
