Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
