I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
