well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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