Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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