Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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