The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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