Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
