My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
