Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
