i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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