am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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