sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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