sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
