she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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