i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
