I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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