Quick, to the slutcave!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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