I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize