would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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