you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
