no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
