I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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