plz talk dirty to me
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
