clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
