wat bout pragnant strippers??
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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