I want to stick my p in your. b.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
