for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My feet surprised me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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