Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
