i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
