Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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