awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
