dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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