Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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