Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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