I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
