Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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