what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My vagina is officially offended.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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